Bring some ching-chong spice to your 77-year-old sack.

So Michael Phelps has a new gf.  Big deal, right?  Well, apparently it is a big deal because she’s Asian (ZOMG!).  Can we please stop treating the “phenomenon” of rich older men (ahem, Rupert Murdoch) dating younger Asian women as some kind of disease?  Maybe it’s just logical in the statistical sense since we Asians [...]

Tom Cruise was not the Last Samurai.

So apparently a man who swung samurai swords at some security guards at the Church of Scientology’s Celebrity Center in Hollywood was SHOT AND KILLED.  He probably just wanted to show them his sweet new moves ㅠ_ㅠ!
If you want the official story, read the LA Times article.  If you want the Gawker spin, click the [...]

Slightly homoerotic DudeCam replaces Shiba Inu puppies?

So remember those ADORABLE Shiba Inu puppies that people just could not stop watching?  Didn’t you wish that you could replace them with a bunch of 20-something guys and a frisbee?  Yeah, me neither.  BUT it’s still here!  All you have to do is take away their shirts and dump in [...]

Who killed Obama?

What a fucking idiot.  I can say that now since it hasn’t happened yet (*knocks on wood*), but honestly, most people are thinking probably thinking about it.  So this greasy hipster designer named Apollo Braun is selling these sweatshirts for $129 despite pressure from the FBI to just FUCKING STOP.
“I am not saying ‘Kill Obama’ [...]

Srsly, can we get over Dane Cook?